Starbucks, the coffee conglomerate that brought you the original overpriced latte, now wants to sell you beer and wine. As discussed in this recent Orange County Register article, is the idea crazy or inspired?

Let’s grind it down… On the one hand, during a recession such as this in which consumers are cutting back on purchasing, a few industries still thrive. One of them is alcohol. For Starbucks to leverage that by churning out an Americano by day and an Irish coffee by night is seemingly brilliant marketing. So what’s the problem?

Perhaps nothing. BUT there is the whole idea of doing one thing and doing it well, otherwise known as specialization. Take Taco Bell – if they started selling prime rib, we’d be suspicious (not to mention they’d HAVE to start serving alcohol just to get people to buy it!) Starbucks has become as ubiquitous to coffee as In-N-Out has to burgers. Could it just be a sign of the times, companies offering all things to all people? Or is the coffeehouse in for a “brewed” awakening?

What do you think Starbucks should serve – espresso shots, tequila shots, or both?

Dear Apple,

Interesting new product – listening to the keynote was fun, and I am looking forward to the reviews of the new product. But next time you decide to name your product after a female napkin…you may want to reconsider. The last thing I wanted to think about when turning on my iPad is that time of month.What about the iTab? Or the iFlat? Either would be better than something that makes me think of cramps and irritation.

Oh and on a side note, don’t you think the new product, the one you just launched, should be on the front page?? Or at least in the searches??

Thanks!

When I think about a bank, I want security first and foremost. I want to know my money is safe and that my bank will be there when I need it. With the problems in the economy, and the failure of many of the big banks, the last thing that someone is thinking about when it comes to their bank is luxury, extravagance and arrogance.  Apparently Chase has either forgotten this, or just chosen to ignore it.

After the buyout of Washington Mutual by Chase, their marketing team needed to come up with a powerful way to introduce themselves to the California market. Instead of crafting a genuine commercial talking about the security of the bank, all the services it can offer you, the changes they are making to improve banking in general and why you should bank with them, they crafted this:

Really? This is supposed to make me feel safe with you as my bank? This is supposed to lower the concern for what is happening to my money and my accounts. Yep, people in a diner, the dude on the surfboard and the hot air balloons scream security to me too! And what about those of us who aren’t Wamu/Chase members? How does this advertisement invite me in to learn more? What about this ad tells me that I should trust Chase to be my bank and manage my money? Leading your audience with a nonsensical video montage and a track that has nothing to do with anything (We all shine on???)  is not the way to win our trust or our money. It is a great way to embarrass yourself and your marketing team, though.

On top of their television ads, Chase has crafted a new slogan: “Chase What Matters”. Depending on which side of the coin you’re looking at, it is either insinuating that you should chase what matters to you (and they’ll give you the money for whatever you want) or they are telling you that Chase is what matters. Isn’t this how we got in this whole mess in the first place?  Don’t have the money to buy that boat you’ve always wanted? No problem, we’re a big established bank so you can trust us to give you the money to go and get what matters to you – whether you can afford it or not.  And the big financial institutions’ arrogance through this whole process!  Don’t regulate us, we know what we’re doing.  And now Chase is what matters.  Right.

What matters is that we don’t like you and we’re taking our money elsewhere.

Is that a blow-up doll?

Yep, it’ll blow alright – your ad, your brand and hopefully your job.  And not in a good way!  Let’s see, if we have  a really disgusting looking sandwich, how can we make it more appealing to men in the 18-35 demo? Oh, I know, let’s bring sex in!  Sex always sells right?  Yes it usually does do the trick but not when you’re selling cheap, greasy food and comparing it to a blow job.  7-inches of hot meat?  Let’s see, what does that remind us of?  Oh, I know…giggle…giggle.  I can just see the little goatee sporting, skinny jeans-wearing creative toads at the agency (reportedly NOT CP&B, but an agency servicing Singapore for BK) sitting around giggling about hot meat and blow jobs when some one finally said “That’s it!”  We can degrade women, insinuate about the sex we’re not having and win a ComArts award! Let’s do it.

The brand?  Aww, the brand sucks anyway – get it? Sucks? Blow? Meat?  Fire them and fire them now.

I know all the other blogs have done what I’ve done too and made sure that CP&B wasn’t given credit for this piece of trash.  But aren’t they BK’s global agency of record?  Shouldn’t they have had creative say-so in this? I’m sure Bogusky ranted to his crew about how this is the kind of work he expects from them here.  Nice work. Frankly it blows and you blow.  Time’s up CP&B.

“We’ve got to show the product!  Don’t use humor, these are doctor’s for Pete’s sake!  Let’s tell them all the hard work and clinical trials that went into making this doo-hicky.”  Puh-lease, gimme a break.

Most device manufacturers have completely lost touch, or really have never developed touch, with their market. Rarely does anyone in marketing ever go out into the field to speak with their docs.  The sales reps have a great rapport with their customers but as usual any information they gather never makes it very far back into the organization and certainly not into marketing.  So what they end up with is this image of a highly paid, highly educated, stern figure who doesn’t have time to be marketed to.  I wonder if the good people at Mercedes, Tommy Bahama and Morton’s feel the same way.  Hmmm, something tells me they don’t and this market is heavily marketed to because they have a propensity to be marketed to and react to it in the form of sales.  Wow. Novel idea.

Some our most successful campaigns, ones that are still running in the likes of riveting pubs like The Journal of Neurosurgery, Diagnostic Imaging and Modern Healthcare, have been ones where we’ve been able to convince the client that a smart, creative approach to this audience will be well received and received in the form of device sales.  A cruise control button on a guy’s head, a tightrope walking surgeon, a leopard and Lance Armstrong. All eye-grabbers, engaging and influential.

Don’t treat the medical device market as a sterile, scrubs wearing group of nerds.  Get out into the field, engage with your audience, learn that a neurosurgeon, a cardiologist and an orthopedic surgeon are three entirely different breeds of physicians – and personalities! – but learn that they can be marketed to and in fact welcome it.

Paging Dr. Fein.  Dr. Fein.  Paging Dr. Fein. Dr. Fein?